Swamp Stew

Go north, Gandalf said. Look for Théoden King and the Rohirrim, he said. Bring them to Minas Tirith. Pfft.

So, after a Gondorian soldier sent me to waste time with the Wild Men of the Woods (that whole area seems designed to get you to spend mithril coins on travel, just by frustrating you), I finally got around to talking with the Rohirrim, only to be sent back to the Beacon Hills.

The Beacon Hills (not to be confused with the Bacon Hills, back in the Shire) are home to a group of – wait for it – Gondorian beacons. It’s pretty much what you’d expect. A small stone platform on top of each hill with a bonfire on it. In addition, the northern third of the zone is where the Entwash River empties into the Anduin, pretty much forming a big marsh. Bring your mosquito repellant.

Also in this zone are groups of Variag raiders, especially in the marshes. Which is odd, because I always thought of the Variags as horsemen. Also, the Variag armor looks bizarre, like one of the developers thought “What if Kurgan from the original Highlander movie showed up in Middle Earth?” Anyway, they’re in the Beacon Hills, way behind enemy lines, and they’re slightly more than an annoyance (but only slightly).

So, my plan is to kidnap the leader of the Variag raiders and force them to watch Highlander 2. I bet it won’t take long to break their spirit with that particular torment.

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